SWEARING
by Holyquill
Summary: Dedan is now the puppet! What the fuck can go wrong! Sorry...I let him type a bit...
1. Chapter 1

SWEARING

If you have not played "OFF", by Mortis Ghost, then get out of here! Spoilers, torture and feels lie ahead!

If you have, then greetings! What is your name?

(name)

That's great!

You have been entrusted to Dedan, the guardian of zone 1. He has a mission to accomplish, much like any living being, so be sure it's accomplished, okay?

We will launch you at zone 0, you know what to do right? Well, good luck!

You shall need it.

Dedan: Well, I have no need to give you instructions, right? After all, "puppeteer", you are not braindead!

Dedan walks to the next scenario and Pablo walks in to greet him.

Judge: It appears I have visits in the lieu I command. Greetings, Dedan!

Dedan: Shut your trap! I have important things to say, not like you, smelly cat!

Judge: Let's not wreak havoc upon my land, shall we? And which subject if of such utter importance?

Dedan: I've had a fucking nightmare! Every single zone went blank and everyone died! You were the last one to die at the hands of the pathetic wimp, so I decided to come over here to chat!

Judge: It's such an…strange dream? And why do you bother with such?

Dedan: The queen entrusted the guardians with powers they and only them have. You can roam freely with your flea-filled body to every single zone.

Judge: Sorry for interrupting, but why are you not at your zone then?

Dedan: I have entrusted my work to Alma. The stations are named after important people, after all. As I was saying, you smiling imp, the queen gave me the power of clairvoyance! In my night fucking mare, I was defeated and I doubted it until the very fucking end!

Judge: I see where this is going. Do you wish my company at your travel?

Dedan: If you can keep up with my hasty steps, then you can help me! Don't slow me down!

Judge: Oh, but you will be in fact delayed.

Dedan: What are you mumbling about you sack of fleas?

Judge: Another being came and I gave him my Leo-card to go to Zone 1. Maybe I will have to get a new one.

Dedan: You can't be fucking serious about this shit! How was this pest?

Judge: An obnoxious face, with a laudable goal to purify the land. How, I had no intent on asking.

Dedan, pissed OFF, trampled on the ground loudly and Pablo got scared.

Dedan: That's him! The vile creature from my nightmares! Now we have to haste! Thanks stupid feline!

Sighing, The Judge joined the steel guardian's party. They went inside the little room at zone 0, there were numbers.

Dedan: What the fuck is this shit?

Judge: Your manners question the sanity of my choice, but this is the answer to one of the puzzles in my land.

Dedan: Puzzles? You sicken me!

There were no stairs to the cellar, YET. The numbers, in order, were: 7-8-8-0-1-4-6.

The entrance to the white door was blocked. Dedan analyzed the block.

Dedan: I'm not a fucking spirit, you moron! It's blocked!

Dedan went to the left to check the chest.

Dedan: Why the actual fuck is this empty?

Dedan went upstairs and found another puzzle. There were dots on the floor and he had to traverse the room stepping in all of them. It made the shape of a snake after it was done.

At the next downward floor, there were flying blocks arranged like a dial. Upside down. The sequence was simple, it was 3-9-6. Dedan solved in its first try.

The last floor had flying blocks arranged like a dial again, but the correct way. Dedan remembered the code and used it flawlessly.

Lies, the puppeteer took a screenshot and saved it somewhere, I am pretty sure…

He traversed the room and gazed at a cube.

Judge: Here, blessing our eyesight with it's horrendous visage, it's our doorway to the nothingness. A horrendous looking cube with a distinct and bizarre choice of colors which is capable of completing our health and competence points, saving our progress and make us advance further in the story!

Dedan: Haven't you said you needed another Leo-whatever it was?

Judge: I remembered I can free travel along the zones in our world.

Dedan: I'm so gonna get pissed at your sass.

They entered at zone 1, it was raining as all time. Every Elsen to which Dedan talked was too frightened to say something besides they were going back to work. Pablo was spooked by this behavior as well.

Judge: Why this harsh treatment over your employess?

Dedan: These worthless sacks of crap are useless! Only one of them is, in fact. That's why I trusted him with…

A voice coming from the siren nearby the entrance to the smoke mines started talking, with a deep and sad inhale starting it.

Elsen: Hhh, please, could mister Dedan be found and brought to the barns? We see to have a major problem. Code Ghost.

The voice went silent and Dedan was infuriated to say the least.

Dedan: See? Those idiots can't even face the specters!

Judge: Dedan, I fear only the ones commanded by the Queen do.

Dedan: Who fucking cares? Not me! I'll smash those crappy white figures into oblivion!

Judge: I wasn't looking forward to such cursing when I greeted the day…

Both the guardians entered the smoke mines. When they got near the yellow save box, Pablo started sniffing around.

Dedan: Something suspicious?

Judge: I can sense the ectoplasmic entities in this lieu, but they are far from my sight.

Suddenly, ten ghosts simply popped making a full circle around the party.

Dedan: Well, fuck!

Judge: Do you mind being instructed in the arts of violent retribution?

Dedan: What the actual fuck are you talking about? I'm the iron hand guardian, Mother Fucking Dedan! Why would I need this?!

Dedan analyzed the ghosts with his "Iron sight" and there, all the info he needed: Only a punch was enough to beat them and they had no CP. Delightful. The ghosts were exterminated quickly and leaving few scratches in both guardians. Dedan saved his progress made so far. He went back to explore the south entrance to the mines. When he reached it's end, he found whole lot's of nothing.

Judge: What have you expected to lay your eyes upon?

Dedan: I'm not fucking sure…

Both went back to the mines and fought more ghosts, ghouls, bat-looking abominations and when they finally found the exit, they were both level 4. Quite a maze? No, but there were lots of chests to open. When they exited the mines from the stairs, a worker came by.

Dedan: You were the idiot that summoned the great Dedan?

Elsen: hhh y-y-yes! There seems to have lots of specters in the barns but someone is there already.

Dedan: Ex-fucking-cuse me? Guide me!

Dedan was being guided by the worker which feared for his life, and his job. Pablo was afraid of what Dedan could possibly do if enraged. He never went to any rage control guardian classes. Only a fatty went, Pablo was the one being the teacher. When they reached the entrance of the barns, the Elsen got really nervous.

Elsen: I… I… I… I am really…

Dedan: Shut your trap, you poor moron.

Elsen: No… I… Yes…

Dedan: Has he been in there for long?

Elsen: I… I don't know…

Dedan: Of course! You know nothing! I could've guessed.

Elsen: He… He will eliminate the spectres…

Dedan's breath was the most intimidating thing in miles. Even Pablo felt pity for the poor worker.

Dedan: And why does he think he's capable of destroying these stupid phantoms? He thinks he's better than you! Better than the Queen!

Elsen: No… No, I don't think that…

Dedan: Shut it. I haven't asked you anything. You all think you're smarter than anyone else. But you're all the same. At any case that's hardly important. The ghosts will erase that prick.

Elsen: I… Ah? You… You think he won't succeed?

Dedan: Of course not. Nobody here's capable of fighting the phantoms, other than the Queen's officers. If you'd only listen to me more often, you wouldn't be in so much shit.

Elsen: But… But then who could destroy the spectres?

Dedan: I could have done it, but you don't fucking deserve it! Take care of your shit yourself!

Elsen: P-please, come on, I…

Dedan: I'll be heading to Alma now.

The Elsen didn't move. Dedan always could circle him, but no, he simply went straight to his direction.

Dedan: Out.

Elsen: P-please help me!

Dedan: Out of my way this instant if you want to keep your job!

Dedan went to the left. He heard the Elsen speaking with an outsider, but decided not to overcome him with his mighty clock/time-related skills.

Judge: Why do you let the opponent live to see another day?

Dedan: Not now…I won't wipe the floor with his face now…

Judge: Has mercy pierced through your steel plated heart?

Dedan: Do you know me? Because I don't know what this shitty mercy is!

They went back to the smoke mines and got lost in the dark section. Facing countless hordes of ghosts, they found a switch and pulled it. They traversed the dark room and found the exit in no time and found the merchant.

Zacharie: Howdy fellas. Guess you know me by now.

Dedan: Who are you?

Zacharie: …

Judge: …

Dedan: Do you know him, smelly puppeteer?

Zacharie: Yes, they do! And, by the way, you are good looking today, eh?

Dedan: Enough wasting my time! The script said you were the merchant. Show me your goods!

Zacharie: One rule. Only me and Pablo are allowed to break the fourth wall, capiche?

Dedan: Yeah yeah whatever! Show me the black market!

Humanoid party members are good at physical attacks, so their weapons and skills will led to a greater boost on these stats. The animal-related ones have great outcomes in magic, so their offensive equipment's greatly boosts magic. There were "Plastic knuckles" for the humanoid and "Lesser tome" for the animals. The first seemed like it was done nearby. Too much near. The last one seemed like it was taken from zone 2. Dedan was giving Zacharie the bad looks. They equipped themselves with stronger weapons, thick clothing and heavy jewelry for defense. The employee gave the code of the floor with "ectoplasmic occurrences" as Pablo would say.

Dedan: 10258…What is it Judge? Stop crawling in my legs!

Judge: Perhaps the last floor may have some assistance waiting for us?

Dedan: Why the f… Wait, do you have flash backs too?

Judge: I'm afraid I only have this one. If we need to go up, it's your decision.

Dedan went all the way to the last floor. There was nothing he could see. While he was cursing, the player was taking notes of the number at the edge of the roof. 24553.

Dedan went to the correct floor this time. He cursed at each time his feet kicked accidentally a box of parcels. An Elsen simply appeared running downstairs.

Elsen: …

Dedan: Do you wish upon yourself a beating?

Elsen: hhh, no Dedan. I was only running from your office. There are some documents for you.

He rushed to the elevator and used it. Dedan was confused.

Judge: What had been bugging your cerebrum, dear steel handed fellow?

Dedan: Something feels different…

Judge: Maybe your predictions aren't completely certain.

Dedan followed the stairs, fought more ghouls and found many more treasure chests, but all were empty.

Dedan: Who's playing tricks with me?

He reached the part where he needed a password. The Elsen simply let him pass. The player got mad and threw away his notes while the progress was being saved. Dedan entered his room and found the document. He needed to sign it so… So that Zone 1 could have a new ruler?

Dedan: What the fresh pile of fuck is this?

Dedan smashed the papers wildly filled with rage. When he was done, his rage was still dominating his body. Suddenly, ghosts appeared in his office at packs, filling the room.

Judge: I fear we may have been trapped against our will and knowledge.

Dedan: Fucking watch this.

Dedan's arms were pointing to the roof. He was moving his right arm down with tiny movements each second. When he reached where it was supposed to be the number 2 on a clock, most of the ghosts were erased.

Judge: A weak, still tiring, area impact? Impressive!

Dedan: I hear footsteps outside. Hide. That stupid being won't like if he sees you helping me.

Tired, Dedan slapped each and every single ghost into oblivion. Indeed, he was being watched when he finished the smackdown.

Dedan: …hhh…hhh.. YOU! It's you, YOU are the source of all my troubles! The ectoplasmic lord who's been eyeing my beloved zone! What do you want? Why you've decided to be a pain in the ass? I've dedicated my whole life to this place! You've got no right to ruin it with your damn ghosts! SHOVE OFF!

Intimidated, but not at all taken aback, the Batter approached himself from the furious guardian.

Batter: You are mistaken. I'm not a phantom. I'm a purifier. I've come to purge the world from the ectoplasmic beings.

Dedan: How dare you respond? And how dare you imagine that I'd just put up with this shit... Listen good. I'll make this simple. Get outta here and take your goddamn specters with you, or I'm gonna kill you. I hope that's clear enough for ya. If I see you again... You're dead.

Dedan teleported himself with The Judge to a faraway place. The flesh maze.

Pablo: So, you decided to flee from the endeavors?

Dedan: I have something else to take care off.

Tired, Dedan was breathing heavily and the fatigue could be touched, as dense as it was. Pablo was worried.

Judge: Did that technique tire your body?

Dedan: The "second hand" is a weak skill. It has been a long time since I last used it, so I decided to warp us here. At the end of the maze, there will be my main office.

Judge: Are we located in Alma at the current time being?

Dedan: Yes, feline agent. I asked the queen to fill these halls with ghosts. The correct way out has them blocking the path.

Judge: Beg your pardon?

Dedan got up and started walking. Pablo followed him and fought the ghosts as they came in huge packages. After defeating nine passage blockers, they found the exit. Dedan triggered a switch hidden in the save block and the way to his room was blocked. Only the puzzle, reactivated, could open it.

Judge: Could you wait for a moment? You asked the queen to send ghosts here? Please tell my cerebrum is working at its best performance.

Dedan: Indeed it is. You have heard my sayings. I know the queen. You are a new guardian, so your test has to come yet. Or maybe this is it.

Judge: Don't continue the journey without giving me the proper informations!

Dedan: Sorry, smelly guardian. When we enlist all of the guardians, then we all shall tell you. Now, I have some business to talk with my vice.

Dedan had saved his progress. The ghosts dropped lots of healing items, but none against status ailments. He didn't need them and he knew. He knocked gently at the door, gently throwing it at the ground with a gentle earthshaking sound.

Dedan: Don't fucking hide from me you helpless sinner!

No one was hiding. An Elsen, with a smile, appeared from under the table. He had a paper and pen, making notes.

Dedan: What in God's name are you doing Alma?

Judge: Isn't Alma the station name?

Alma: hhh… I'm afraid you are correct, kitty. The stations are named after important person, after all. That's why Dedan entrusted me with his zone, ain't I correct?

Dedan: Let me get to the point as quick as possible. I said you would obey me, give orders as I was away trying to save everyone's butts! This isn't what we planned!

Alma: I'm afraid you look a bit enraged, fellow worker. Could you sign the petition? I need full admin powers.

Dedan: It seems you don't understand what I clearly said to you. I AM THE RULER!

Alma: HHH…S-sorry Dedan. I-I like to rule! Could y-you get away from my zone?

Dedan: Not, in a million fucking years, this will be your zone!

Alma's smile was frightening. From his cold, dead black eyes and his pitch black tie, smoke was gathering. It formed a ghoul above his head. He had a cute tail, a skull-like face and two small trident-like arms. The petit ghost had hollow eyes and his arms were always at Alma's head.

Judge: He is possessed. I believe we need to end his life.

Dedan: No need to ask again furball.


	2. Chapter 2 (Credits to MR ghost)

*Pepper steak GB remix intensifies*

Pablo was nervous as he didn't knew what to expect from this foe. Dedan, on the other hand, pun not intended, was the readiest as he could be. He knew all of the abilities of the opponent. "Metal will" was able of raising his defense slightly and temporarily. "Rotten meat" was a slightly powerful attack which targeted one enemy and "plastic projectiles" had the same strength, but with the addition of hitting everyone.

The battle started. Dedan analyzed. 2k hp and almost a hundread CP. It would be an easy battle. Pablo attacked, removing 200+ hp with a magic skill. The battle is easy.

Alma summoned a talking balloon. Dedan didn't predicted it, but attacked it with a simple move and it was eradicated with a ferocious howl.

Alma upgraded his defense, but Pablo and Dedan kept attacking. His attacks were powerful as well, but Pablo's intense purring and Dedan's agile hands with the cards made them healthy after each blow.

Defeated in no time, Alma was struggling to be alive. Pablo stopped Dedan's final blow and almost got punched in the face by the steel handed guardian.

Dedan: What's with your rotten mind?

Judge: He bears no treat.

Alma: Indeed..hh…I Elsen a treat.

Everyone was stunned by the awful pun. Even Alma was feeling bad himself.

Dedan: Can I fucking end him now?

Judge: Everyone has the right to live, am I correct? Besides, the specter lurking at the Elsen's head disappeared.

Alma: Specter? What in the world is happening!

Dedan: That wretched batter… Maybe the Queen sent him too.

Judge: I'm afraid she didn't. However, I'm not entirely capable of giving another guess.

Alma: Dedan, please forgive me! Do you finished your quest?

Dedan: Not yet. I have to find the other guardians and make sure you were making a nice job.

Alma: I can destroy your opponent!

Dedan's hollow eyes shone and Pablo was simply afraid of what could possibly be happening.

Dedan: How fucking come?

Judge: I can see him Dedan…

Dedan: You both make no hell sense!

Judge: I have no information on how, but a duplicate of my persona is helping him through the maze.

Dedan: If you didn't lost your mind yet, then we must hurry and find Japhet! Alma, how can you destroy him?

Alma: I can use my skills to stop him.

Dedan: Impossible. He expects me to be here.

Alma: What about I copy your skills and use my summon abilities?

Dedan: A nice idea. I have some spare clothing in the table's drawer. Copy my and I'm sure he won't see a difference.

Alma: I will bring end to his journey!

Dedan: If you don't, I'll make sure to deliver hell in your life. Let's just say that being fired would be a blessing.

Alma became nervous. He changed quickly and as he did, Dedan disappeared along with the smiling creepy cat.

Dedan?: What will I do? How's he like? Oh God what will I…YOU! By the Queen's thousand faces!

He was running around in circles until the Batter came. Now, more relaxed being completely sure who its opponent were, he made a perfect Dedan's impression.

Dedan?: Are you crazy? Are you just completely retarded?! What part of "I'm gonna kill you" didn't you understand?

Batter: I'm here to eliminate you.

Alma felt the coldness on its speech, as if he was talking to something, not someone. Dedan wouldn't be intimidated, so he stood tall and menacing before proceeding.

Dedan?: You're insane. I'm the guardian of zone 1. It ain't nothing without me! What mental disorder got your blind faith to hide even the slightest bit of evidence from yourself?

His add-on was floating beside him, as the Batter advanced and became closer to the table.

Batter: I'm the one who's going to purify the world. And you're the pest that eats away at this land. Prepare yourself.

Dedan?: You'll taste the pain, you sick spirit.

The battle started. The batter's face was no longer humanoid, but seemed like a ducky smiling. A frightening one.

Dedan?: I'm gonna cut your face to remove this insufferable smile.

The batter was giving 0 amount of fucks to the guardian. His purpose was to destroy him, making him feel the pain the land was feeling, a distorted karmic retribution.

Dedan: Now that I know things are well, let's find and recruit Japhet.

Judge: The avian lord of zone 2? Great aid in our team.

They proceed to zone 2's warping point and warped. Dedan's long legs made him rush quick to the library and made Pablo confused.

Judge: May I ask why are we straightly heading for this building?

Dedan: That avian creep likes to read and to spread its knowledge. He likes others to share knowledge as well, that's why he allows and supports every writer at every zone to do it and the book will be at his library in no time. This is how things should be anywhere.

Both ran quickly to the library and entered. The Elsen at the balcony made them stop, saying that a cat had scratched some of the book pages.

Elsen: Sorry kitty, you can't go upstairs. If worse things happen…hhh…I can't even imagine!

Judge: Be as it may, I will be searching this cat somewhere else. This fills your standards guardian?

Dedan: I will find Japhet in no time!

Sad, Pablo went off the library and started meowing intensely, in attempt to try to find the other cat. Dedan followed the stairs and found some Elsens hurt, but scrolling the books. Blood was falling from their scratch injuries and they didn't cared a tiny bit.

Dedan walked to the other staircase and found a cat lying in the corridor. White, creamy creepy eyes and a closed mouth with sharp teeth. It seemed too much like Pablo.

Dedan: Are you doing this nasty shit with this poor cat?

Japhet: Poor? He tried to eat me! And yes. As soon as I have heard people like cats, I thought this could be a good idea.

Dedan: We both know you hate your people with all your heart and that this isn't a disguise.

Muted, Japhet started moving in circles. He sighed, obviously tired in an emotive fashion.

Japhet: I've had a weird dream. You may not believe me.

Dedan: That old days Dedan is dead. I trust you as you are one of the most powerful guardians. I've also had a weird dream, that's why I came.

Japhet: Everyone has their own kind of strength. Your resistance is steel-plated and…what? We've had the same dream perhaps? Of a terrifying monstrosity destroying our land?

Dedan: To avoid this, I need to gather all of the guardians. And you're such a sack of crap!

Japhet: Beg your pardon?

Dedan: The cat you possessed you stupid fool! It's the relative of another guardian!

Japhet: Which guardian? Enoch's a human being!

Dedan: It's a cat from zone 0. Both him and … your hostage? Look alike.

Japhet: May I say that all feline demons are similar to me. Do you have a better idea than mine, already in motion, brilliant outback?

Dedan: Only Enoch remains. We can go to zone 3 and find him to help us! I'll go find the cat and you better unposses this smelly beast!

Japhet: May I give you some time, past partner? If you don't find him and I absorb this cat's life fully, then I will proceed with my plan. Capiche?

Dedan gulped. The cat started walking upstairs but it turned its head 180 degrees creeping Dedan's soul.

Japhet: There is a pisces-card at the shop. You shall need it to find Enoch if I fail.

Dedan didn't liked that answer. He knew where to go, but Japhet always were the most positive of the guardians, Enoch the most violent fighter and Dedan the best leader. What happened to everyone? He accepts orders from anyone, Japhet gave up completely on hope and he doesn't know about Enoch's new and disappointing traits.

Dedan: Where the fuck could that cat possibly be?

Dedan left the library and started searching for Pablo whilst he was searching the other cat at the rooftops, jumping high above the Elsen's heads as they don't notice a thing.

Heading to the shop, lots of Elsens were running away from it as they've seen ghosts indoors. Dedan entered and sought the shopkeeper smiling. He had his mask on, but surely was smiling underneath it.

Zacharie: Bonjour my lovely…

Dedan smacked the table so hard it almost cracked open. Its menacing stare deep inside Zacharie's soul should forever mark it.

Dedan: Listen closely, because I ain't in the mood to be repetitive today. I'm not your friend, for hell's sake! Your only job is to fill me with goods of the best kind.

Zacharie: You talked slightly similar to Pab..

Dedan: Did you understood me!?

Zacharie simply was petrified, afraid to say the slightest thing. He only moved his head to indicate a "yes".

Zacharie browsed the store and bought meat to heal ailments. He bought two of the best magic equipments in case he could save the other cat from Japhet's torture. He couldn't blame him entirely, that was the way they won the war after all, but maybe that cat couldn't provide Japhet all the power he needed to destroy the purifier. Dedan headed to the labyrinth's entrance with chills running through his spine.


End file.
